Fly away...to rest

At the end of my pregnancy with Hazel, I remember getting these feeling of uncontrollable anger and despair and I blamed it on hormones as well as an upcoming move to our new house. Unfortunately, they lingered well into the post-partum phase and I had a rough 6 months or so after she was born. This last week, the feelings have returned and, while I am much more aware of them and the place they are coming from, I don't like the responses they trigger from me. I have been angry, yelling, crying and feeling very alone these last few days. The boys, bless them, are good kids, but they are having rough days as well. I think we are all reacting off of one another and it is just escalating and becoming "routine" for us to treat one another so differently.

Today, a sweet friend of mine texted to remind me that I am able and God will enable me. She reminded me that it is ok to seek help. So, friends, I am asking you to pray for me, please. Please pray that peace can seep back into our hearts and into our words and actions. Please pray that I can be rested and sleep at night, as I know the lack of sleep does not help my attitude any. Please pray that these feelings can subside, that I can give all of my anger, fears and anxiety to God and not store them up just to blow up later.

During the kids rest time today, I opened up my Bible intending to read James. It so happened that I opened up Psalm 55, though. I know, James is FAR away from the Psalms! Psalm 55 says:

"Listen to my prayer, O God, do not ignore my plea; hear me and answer me. My thoughts trouble me and I am distraught at the voice of the enemy... for they bring down suffering upon me and revile me in their anger. My heart is in anguish within me;... I said, "Oh, that I had the wings of a dove! I would fly away and be at rest..."

David said it far better than I ever could. Now on to read James...